Chapter 3

Standing on the bridge's upper deck, Alex took a last long look at his home planet while the crew prepared for launch. He saw Jackson's reflection in the heavily-shielded window as he approached from behind.

"These coordinates need your final signature, Captain." Jackson handed Alex a scanner and stylus. "The route is incomplete."

"I know." Alex took the pad and pen and nodded once. He couldn't help noticing the way Jackson neatly avoided any glance at Evan who was standing a few feet away. "This will get us to the nebula. By then I'll have a course worked out to get us inside." He signed the pad and handed it back to Jackson. "We're exploring, Chief. Have to keep our minds and options open."

"If you say so, sir."

Alex glanced around, then lowered his voice even though he knew no one else could hear them. "You know, Jackson, believe it or not until just a few months ago I used to feel the same way."

"Captain?"

"About people like me. Keepers, Sha'erah, the whole bit." Alex handed back the stylus and shrugged one shoulder. "I hated the whole idea. And I guess technically I still do. But Evan and I . . . We're different."

Jackson's face reflected a slight skepticism, but there was no hint in his tone. "Aye-aye, sir." He turned around and walked back down the short ramp to the main level. "We're ready at your command, Captain."

If the man's prejudices were anything like his own, then only way to change them was with time and proof. "Take us into space, Chief." Alex ran a hand through hair still damp from the morning shower, and watched the Scotian shipyards slowly move away from the Ascalon. Of course that was an illusion. It was actually the Ascalon that was pulling away from the orbital shipyard it had called home for the last several months. He and Evan watched the progression as the ship backed out of its slip and did a wide, slow turn until it was nosing out into open space.

"Navigation, do you have the course locked?" Jackson's voice boomed out over the bridge with practiced authority.

"Locked and ready, sir."

The chief turned to Alex. "We're clear to leave the system, Captain."

After a quick glance at Evan, Alex nodded to the chief. "Let's get out of here."

"All ahead one quarter." Jackson turned back to the crew and the routine of leaving port began.

"You have an appointment in the medical bay for a physical."

Alex glanced at Evan. "Yeah, I know." He turned back to the bridge and watched his new chief command the crew. Most of them were new, and some quite a bit younger than their predecessors, but so far everyone seemed to be handling things well enough. Of course, this cruise was only five minutes out.

"You haven't even met our new physician yet."

He shrugged. "She's qualified, that's enough to know."

"So is he."

Alex looked at his friend and saw his nodding referral to Bridge Chief Jackson. "I'd better get down to sick bay. Wouldn't want to be late." He caught a glimpse of Evan rolling his eyes as he turned to leave. "The bridge is all yours, Chief."

Jackson glanced in his direction and nodded once. "Aye-aye, Captain."

Alex stepped into the lift and rode down to the medical level alone, trying to hold on to the good mood he'd started with that morning. Last night had gone much better than he thought it would, and he hadn't ended up explaining the gift to the point of ruining the whole affair. Evan was either beginning to really understand the concept of friendship, or he was at the very least getting better at dealing with his Keeper's odd behavior. Alex was hoping for the former but he'd settle for whatever got him through awkward situations.

Last night had been what he considered a milestone, having survived an entire year with the new responsibility of being a Keeper and everything that came with it. He'd made some mistakes along the way, and been pretty ignorant about a few things, but he liked to think he was learning. And maybe, just maybe, he was becoming a better man for it.

Of course he wasn't the right person to answer that question.

He made his way to the medical lab, nodding at the crewmembers he passed along the way. They seemed a pleasant enough group of individuals, varying in age a bit more widely than his last assembly. But the real surprise came when he was directed to the exam room and met his new ship's physician, the wife of Bridge Chief Jackson.

"Sara?"

"It's good to see you again, Alex. How've you been?"

Alex found himself blinking in dumb surprise, speechless as his former ship's doctor and live-in approached - all smiles and politeness - in her white lab coat and Ascalon insignia. Her jacket ID now read Sara Feller-Jackson, MD.

Sara laughed lightly as she pulled a file reader from one pocket. "You're doing it again, Alex."

"What?"

"Handling a surprise in your own adorable way." She looked at the reader. "Mouth open, nothing to say, look of confusion changing into one of " -- she glanced up and smiled -- "frustration."

Alex pursed his lips to insure his mouth was closed, but that only seemed to further Sara's preconceived idea of what he'd been about to do, causing her to nod again and smile in that I knew you'd do that way of hers. "I didn't realize you were here."

She looked slightly puzzled, cocking her head to the side ever so delicately. "I assumed you did. Granted my interview was with the . . . With Evan, correct?"

"Yes."

Sara nodded and exchanged the reader for a scanner in her other pocket. "Well I assumed that he was just doing what you told him to do."

Alex unbuttoned his shirt, glad to notice part of his brain was still working properly. The rest was still struggling with the fact that his former lover - the woman who had left him a year ago because he'd been sidetracked into going to Cryian to receive his father's will - was back on his ship, and married.

"I told Evan to hire the best crew he could find." He slid his shirt off so she could run the scanner over his skin. "Obviously he did." Okay, so he hadn't told Evan he needed to approve every single new hire. And he hadn't exactly told him not to hire Sara. He'd just never assumed she'd apply. Did Evan even know about the two of them? He wasn't sure the subject had ever come up between them.

"This is new." Sara's scan stopped at the month-old scar at Alex's side. She ran two fingers over the newly healed, pink skin. "What happened here?"

That reminder brought Alex's mind back in sync. "Had a little accident, no big deal." After all, she left me. The quick check to her expression suggested she'd taken the hint. "So how long did it take you to find a husband after leaving me?" He shifted slightly, enough to let her know the scar was still sensitive, and offered nothing more about it.

Sara sighed and returned to her scans. "I met Carl on the ship I was working when I left here. Three months after we met we started dating."

"So you haven't been married long?" A small part of Alex's mind was surprised at how calm he was being in light of this new development. "Isn't he a little old for you?" And bigoted?

"Compared to what? You? Yes, he's older. More mature, responsible and settled."

Sara leaned forward and ran the scanner over Alex’s back. When she did, some of her long, dark hair slid gently off her shoulder and hung close to his face. He could smell the shampoo she favored, its light scent of fresh peaches tugged at his memories and stirred up feelings he'd pushed aside instead of taking the time to deal with.

"We were good together, you know."

Sara straightened and turned off the scanner. "Alex -- "

He felt some of that latent anger surfacing again. "I was in love with you."

"No, you weren't." Sara pocketed the scanner and met Alex's gaze dead-on. "You were in love with the idea of being in love. Men like you are married to your work. And in your case you're married to this ship." She waved an arm to indicate the Ascalon as a whole.

Alex grabbed his shirt. "That is so cliché!" He jumped off the exam table and took a few steps away. "The Ascalon is a ship, Sara. A tool. I was in love with you."

Sara took a deep breath and watched him as he stood there, shirt in hand, glaring back at her. "I believe you were in love once, a long time ago. But you lost that. And you've been spending all this time trying to find it again."

Alex felt his face burn. It was the truth, but she had no business putting voice to it! Angrily he pulled his shirt back on. "That's ridiculous."

"No, it's not. It's just sad, that's all." Sara moved forward but stopped short of putting a hand on Alex's arm. "You're not upset that I left you, not really. If you were then you wouldn't have let me. And had the two of us been in love, Alex, I never would have left you. No, you're just upset because I found something with Carl. Something you've been trying to get back and can't."

He knew now this was going to have to be one of the safest, most uneventful expeditions on record. The only way he was going to be able to avoid sickbay the entire trip would be to avoid any and all accidents, illnesses and other catastrophes both major and minor. Evan would love that, having nothing to protect him from.

"People change, Alex. It's not a crime. I've changed since we were together and so have you, I can see it in your eyes. Maybe all this Keeper stuff has done it, I don't know." She stood where she was, watching him with an almost sibling-like sympathy on her face.

Alex stopped fussing with the buttons of his shirt and looked Sara in the eyes. He studied her for a moment, trying to get his thoughts back in order. "Do you share your husband's prejudices, too?"

Sara's eyebrows arched. When Alex held up his ring finger, she seemed to make the connection. "That's it, is it?" She took his hand in hers and examined the intricate, silver ring. Her voice took on a tone of awe as she looked at it. "You know, until I met Evan I had no idea they were even real."

"They're real all right." Alex felt a small sense of triumph having something to surprise her with for a change. "Your husband isn't very fond of being around me or Evan."

"I'm sure Carl can keep his personal views separate from his professional life. But he has every right to his opinions." She shrugged. "So what's it like, being a Keeper? What's Evan like? He's younger than I expected. Not much younger than you, that surprised me. And he conducted the interview very well."

Alex flicked at the ring with his thumb out of habit. "It isn't really like anything. Nothing actually changed for me." It was easier to be vague just now, rather than go into any real detail. He shrugged one shoulder. "Evan's different. He has a completely alien way of looking at things that can really throw you now and again. But I trust him with my life, and have on several occasions. He's the best friend anyone could ask for." Alex shoved the tail end of his shirt into his pants. "Are we done here?"

Sara looked puzzled, then shook it off and nodded. "Yeah, sure we are. You're fine."

"Good." He started for the door.

"Alex, are we going to be okay here? I didn't know you weren't aware I was back."

"Do you mean can I keep my personal views separate from my professional life?" He caught her slightly wounded look and felt almost justified. "Like you said, people change."

He found Evan in the hallway waiting his turn for the required physical exam.

The Sha'erah noticed his emotional state instantly. "What's wrong?"

"You didn't tell me about her." Alex nodded with his head toward the door behind him.

Evan looked confused, his gaze darting from Alex to the closed door and back again. "Dr. Jackson?"

"Feller-Jackson! Doctor Sara Feller-Jackson. " Alex realized his voice was still reflecting some residual anger that Evan didn't deserve to have directed at him. He took a deep breath. "She was . . . with me, last year."

"I knew she worked on the Ascalon before. But you have high recommendations in her file, and no mention of not wanting her working here again."

Alex took a deep breath to calm his tone - this wasn't Evan's fault -- but before he could continue the door to the exam room opened and Sara poked her head out.

"Evan? I'm ready for you now." She glanced at Alex. "This will only take a minute or two, didn't mean to interrupt anything."

He turned to Evan, setting his jaw. The Sha'erah looked truly concerned and confused, his posture alert as if something dangerous was taking place that he hadn't seen just yet. The sight of him reacting that way forced Alex to shake his head and try to assure his friend nothing was truly wrong.

"Go ahead, I'll wait for you."

Evan hesitated, clearly not convinced all was well.

Alex nodded toward Sara, still waiting in the doorway. "Everything's fine, Evan. Go get checked out. I wanna go find our passengers when you're finished."

Finally Evan seemed to accept his Keeper's assurances. "This won't take long."

Alex nodded and found a chair in the hallway, then watched as Evan stepped through the door. Immediately he was up again, unable to sit still. If it hadn't been so out of the blue -- such a surprise seeing her here again -- maybe he wouldn't be so angry. Or if she wasn't married to Jackson.

"What exactly is your problem, Marcase?" Alex stared at the carpeting and tried to decide. Obviously he didn't really love her, or he never would have let her leave. And, he knew, if she'd loved him she never would have left. "So why am I so angry?" This wasn't Evan's fault. He'd hired a capable, qualified physician who had an exemplary history working on the Ascalon. The fact that she was married to the man most qualified for bridge chief had simply been a coincidence and a plus, as far as hiring was concerned.

Okay, so Alex knew he had a few things to learn when it came to dealing with potentially objectionable personalities. And his patience could use some work. But he was not the one who did the leaving here! All her talk about love and dedication, moving in with him . . . Obviously she'd never taken it as seriously as he had.

Alex hadn't had time to deal with the loss, since it was only a couple of days after she left that he met - and inherited - Evan. His life had turned so upside down after that, it was easier to simply block out all memories of Sara and everything he'd lost with her. Any other time he would have sat down with a good bottle of scotch and his old partner Jeff and talked it out. A good night of drinking and listing all the reasons why he was better off without her would have done much to improve his mood. Only he didn't have Jeff anymore.

If he tried that with Evan, would the Sha'erah even understand?

The door opened and Alex looked up, catching Evan's eye as he looked down the hall for him. Sara stuck her head out again and smiled at them both.

"He's fine. The ship's logs are all in order now."

Alex let his nod suffice for a reply and Sara closed the door.

"Now tell me what's wrong? I shouldn't have hired her? We can still turn back if -- "

"No." Alex shook his head and started walking out of the medical section. "Nothing's wrong. It's just a surprise, that's all." He held up a hand to prevent any unnecessary retort. "I know, I could have met her before, or asked who you were thinking of, or told you about her sooner. Or all of the above." He mentally sighed, weighing the task of explaining himself against just ignoring it all. The look on Evan's face suggested ignoring it wasn't an option.

"Something upset you about her. What is it?"

"Have you heard from our guests yet?"

Alex's attempt at changing the subject was met - quite unexpectedly - by a hand that grabbed his arm. Evan pulled him to a stop in the corridor and looked at him, eyebrows creased together in frustration.

"Not this time."

Evan's sudden forcefulness was a surprise as well as a slight source of mild amusement for Alex. He stood against the wall, looking at the Sha'erah, eyebrows raised in questioning surprise.

"I hired someone and you're upset about it. I need to know what I did wrong."

Alex's reply had to wait for a small group of crewmembers to pass them in the corridor. When they were alone again, he shook his head slowly.

"Sara and I used to live together. In fact right up until I came out to meet you on Cryian." He shrugged. "I used to think we were in love, but I was wrong."

Evan blinked.

"It's not your fault. Obviously I didn't tell you not to hire her. I just . . . I never thought she'd apply."

"She was in love with you, but she never told you she wanted to work here again?" Evan looked decidedly puzzled. "I don't understand that."

Alex shook his head and turned, heading back down the corridor in the direction they'd been going. "Apparently she wasn't in love with me. That would be the distinction." How much of this could Evan truly understand? "Let's just talk about this later, okay? I promise we will, just . . . not now."

Evan fell into step beside Alex and didn't say another word. They crossed the length of the ship and took a lift down to the holds, passing busy crew and pausing now and again so Alex could answer a question or sign an approval. The large bay that held much of the Ascalon's stores and their passengers' ship could be accessed from several levels, but the vehicle had been loaded last and nestled snugly and safely on the lowest section, reachable through several doors on the bottom level.

When they stepped through the forward door, Alex let out a long, slow whistle.

"Nice ship." He hadn't seen it yet, or their guests since meeting them in the café the morning before, but he couldn't help being impressed. It was small, but sleek. And -- if the size and shielding around the engine's out ports was any indication -- fast. The bow came to a point, showing off darkened cockpit windows before sloping down to a smooth, wide belly. The name Finder's Keeper was emblazoned in red along the side, ending at a hatch that lay open, inviting visitors to climb its two-level height.

They approached the hatch just as Mari started coming out.

"Captain Marcase, I was just coming to look you up." She stepped sideways and extended an arm behind her. "Please, come aboard. I'll give you both a tour."

Alex glanced at Evan, half expecting the Sha'erah to insist he go up first, but he simply stood beside the ramp, waiting his turn. He looked back up at his fellow Keeper and nodded. "Don't mind if I do."

Evan was only a step behind him going up the ramp, so Mari stepped aside quickly and made room for the pair of them. The ship's interior was roomier than expected, with a large open space just inside the hatch. Storage doors lined the walls to either side of the opening, and a bank of computer equipment faced them from the opposite wall.

Ian appeared from below, climbing a spiral stair from the aft section.

"I was just going to give our hosts a tour." She nodded forward and put a hand on Alex's arm. "It's not as impressive as yours, but it gets us around." Her modesty was ridiculous considering the price Alex knew she had to have paid for her ship, but her tone and manner were completely sincere. The stark contrast between Mari and Regian Kellman was startling.

With Evan and Ian following quietly behind, Mari gave Alex a complete tour of her ship. The upper level was devoted to the operation of a locating business, while the lower space house their living quarters - Alex noted the separate bedrooms with a slight surprise, then mentally chastised himself for having made assumptions. Storage areas located all throughout the lower level held enough equipment and stock to keep two people working and living comfortably for several months.

"I'm impressed." Alex nodded as they returned to the main hatch. He glanced at Evan but caught no hint of obvious appreciation in his eyes. Both he and Ian had been so quiet during the tour, Alex wasn't sure if he'd been listening intently to what he and Mari had been saying, or bored out of his mind and unwilling to mention it. "Now let me return the favor. It'll take a bit longer, but we can stop for lunch."

Mari smiled warmly and gave Ian a quick look. "Thank you, Captain, we'd enjoy that."

"It's Alex, please." He gestured for her to precede him down the ramp, then followed with Evan behind him. Ian stopped long enough to secure the hatch of his Keeper's ship, then fell into step beside Evan.

Suddenly the situation felt a bit awkward. Alex wasn't sure if Evan was happy just following along, saying nothing as he tended to do, or if he should maybe suggest the Sha'erah take Ian on his own tour. Would Mari even allow her Sha'erah out of her sight? Just what kind of relationship did they have? She appeared to be treating him more formally than Alex had expected, but their relationship didn't show any of the tension he'd witnessed between Kellman and Thomas. Then again, his own relationship with Evan wasn't one that had him constantly dismissing the guy whenever he was with someone else. Just because he wasn't saying anything didn't mean he wanted to be somewhere else. Alex tended to prefer Evan's company over being alone, but he didn't want to give Mari the impression he never let his friend go about his own business.

God, I have a headache.

Alex decided the best move would be to consciously include Evan and Ian in his guided tour, so he started in the spacious engine room where they wouldn't have to stand two-deep in a corridor. Inside the control section the crew glanced at the new arrivals, then went back to their jobs. Alex saw a young man he didn't know wearing command insignia and studying a panel readout with deep concentration.

"I'd introduce you around, but this is a new crew and I haven't had time to get their names straight yet." Alex raised an eyebrow and looked at Evan.

"I heard of your new fuel mix a year ago." Mari was staring at the main drive engine, visible behind a shielded barrier, and whistled in appreciation. "It's still working, then? So quiet."

Alex cleared his throat, but before he could reply, the new Engineering Chief turned to look at them, startled.

"Captain, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were here." The young man hurried over, straightening his shirt. "Engineering Chief Edwards, sir. It's an honor to finally meet you."

Alex shook the hand Edwards was offering and gave him a nod. "Edwards. We'll try not to get in your way." The young man smiling at him looked to be all of twelve years old, and exuded a certain self-confidence you typically found in those irritating teacher's pets back in school. He was tall, thin, and had prematurely thinning light brown hair cut severely short. The insignia on his shirt gleamed from several layers of polish and a serious lack of use.

"Oh you're not in my way, Captain. In fact I'd be happy to explain the changes in the fuel mixture as well as my own alterations."

Alex blinked. "Your own alterations?" He glanced at Evan, but found the Sha'erah completely unwilling to step in and speak.

"Yes, sir. I feel I've hit upon a solution that can increase both speed and efficiency by another ten percent." Edwards smiled at Alex, obviously waiting for him to comment.

Instead, Alex stared at Evan. When it was clear the Sha'erah had no intention of saying a word about this new revelation, it dawned on him that perhaps to Evan this wasn't a new revelation at all. Just how much was he missing, giving his friend the duties Jeff used to do?

He turned back to Edwards. "What exactly are you proposing to do to my ship, Edwards?"

"Well, sir, I wasn't going to turn in my report until I had all the bugs worked out. But with your permission, as soon as we're clear of this system I'll be ready to test it out."

"I told you any alterations you were considering had to be approved by Captain Marcase first."

Alex glanced at Evan, glad to hear him finally speaking up.

"Yes, of course." Edwards cleared his throat and gave his shirt another tug. "I'll have the report to you by this afternoon, Captain. I'm sure you'll find that -- "

"That's fine, Edwards." Alex held up a hand to stop the kid from going on. "Send us your proposal and we'll let you know." He turned back to Mari after Edwards left. "I just love surprises."

They continued through the engineering section and Mari laughed lightly. "Don't worry, Alex. On a ship this size, I'd be lucky to remember half my crew's names. We get that way. It's a sort of side-effect of being what we are."

Alex blinked. "What we are?"

"Sure." Mari looked at him, grinning as if she was waiting for him to catch on. When he didn't, she explained. "Keepers."

"Ah."

She laughed lightly and shot Ian a look and a conspiratory wink as he walked behind and slightly to her left. "He's new." She looked at Alex again and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're still adjusting, aren't you? How long have you had Evan?"

"He's been with me a year now."

"Hmm." Mari considered something thoughtfully. "Well, I guess you fell into our bad habit early."

Alex made a face and avoided any glance at Evan. "Which bad habit would that be?"

"Well I call it dependence. But most people around us think of it more as forgetfulness or even neglect." She shrugged. "Personally I consider it one of the major perks. With Ian around, I don't have to worry about a thing."

Alex glanced over his shoulder at the Sha'erah following along beside Evan. This pair was definitely not Kellman and Thomas. He could see it in Ian's black eyes. There was respect there, and a kind of quiet security.

He lowered his voice just slightly. "And that doesn't bother you?"

"Are you kidding?"

They'd reached a bank of lifts and Evan reached forward, pressing the call button. It was just the distraction Alex needed to change the subject. Not that he didn't want to pursue this, but he'd rather discuss it without the audience.

He continued their tour, showing Mari and Ian the medical wing by simply pointing out the proper corridors, then the scientific levels, observation stations, living areas and bridge. He neatly avoided any more conversations with the crew, especially Chief Jackson, so as to avoid a repeat of engineering. Evan and Ian seemed perfectly content following along, quiet as ever. Alex wondered briefly if they weren't actually talking to each other when their Keepers were occupied. There was a lot he wanted to discuss with Mari, as long as he could do so without reflecting badly on Evan in any way. That would require tact and careful thinking, and he was just too tired for either of those now.

It was easier to take his guests back down to the main galley and have lunch.

"Well I must say I'm impressed." Mari pushed her empty plate away and sat back, cradling a steaming cup of tea in both hands. Her long legs stretched out under the table as she faced Alex. "Your ship is as legendary as your exploits, and it lives up to its reputation."

"I didn't realize it had one." Alex raised an eyebrow and looked from Mari to Ian, just as he had been since that morning in his attempt to include the Sha'erah in the conversation. So far he hadn't said more than three words, but he didn't seem intimidated. Of course, he knew full well Evan wasn't intimidated, and he'd been just as quiet. With their ages, and the fact that they'd been born and taught together, Alex hoped the two men would find a common ground and enjoy each other's company during the voyage.

"All successful captains seem to use the same ship for each exploration. So it naturally follows that the ship soon becomes as well talked about as the captain." She shrugged and sipped her tea. "Granted, in your circles my ship's name probably never comes up, but Ian and I enjoy real success in our work. In the field of Locators, we've got quite a reputation of our own."

"I don't doubt that for a minute." Alex smiled and raised his coffee cup in a salute.

"Speaking of rumors, it's good to be getting away from the general population right now." Mari sipped her tea.

Alex set his cup down and glanced at Evan. "Oh?" He looked at Mari and leaned forward slightly conspiratorially. "What rumors?" He noticed the surprised look on Ian's face before Mari's equally surprised rise of both eyebrows.

She looked at Evan, then Alex. "You haven't heard? Well." Mari set her cup on the table and glanced around them all, then leaned closer. "I've heard someone just made people like us even wealthier than we already are by destroying the source."

Alex swallowed. "The source?" It took every ounce of will he had not to look over at Evan just then.

"Of Sha'erah." Mari raised one eyebrow independent of the other. "Someone found out where they come from and destroyed it. If that's true -- and so far no one's been able to prove it wrong -- then these two are even more of a hard-to-find item than before." She leaned back again and winked. "Anyone wanting to sell nowadays could ask for a moon and get it."

Alex nodded as if he was impressed, and risked a sideways glance at Evan. His friend's features were a perfect mask, showing no emotion and hardly any interest. After clearing his throat, he looked back at Mari and shrugged one shoulder. "But this is just rumor, right? I mean, what exactly have you heard?"

"True, it's just rumor." Mari cradled her cup of tea in both hands. "I'd believe it more if anyone knew more detail other than the vague idea that "someone" did all this. Hard to believe, really. But imagine if it's true." She smiled widely. "I have no intention of selling Ian, he's far too valuable to me in my profession. But I'm not as young as he is, so when the time comes, I'm looking at enough retirement money to put my golden years in high style."

Alex had been glancing at Ian when her sentence registered, so he caught a quick flash of emotion reflected in those black eyes before the Sha'erah could mask his reaction to his Keeper's declaration. He shot a glance at Evan and found his friend also watching Ian.

Mari raised her cup in another toast, but Alex didn't mirror the gesture. He was fighting to keep his face from burning red and decided to finish his coffee to cover it up. Evan would say it was her right, but Alex never could and never would agree with the notion that one person could simply sell another, let alone discuss that very act in front of the person in question. His PDA beeped before he could return to their conversation.

He pulled the machine from his pocket and flipped open the lid. "Yes?" The screen lit up instantly with the young image of his new engineering chief.

"Captain, I've finished that report and sent it to your computer. After you approve the design modifications, I can implement them immediately and have us on our way at ten percent more speed."

"If I approve the alterations, Edwards."

"Of course, Captain. But I'm sure after careful study, you'll agree with my modifications."

"I'll get back to you." Alex ended the call. "What is he, twelve?"

The last sentence was mumbled, but Evan had heard him. "Twenty, actually. He has very little hands on experience, but all modern engine designs are based on his theories. He's only just now reach the age of employment."

"Theories he had when he was twelve?"

"We're not getting any younger, Alex." Mari grinned and set her empty cup on the table. "You're still young enough to enjoy yourself, though, and that's the hardest age to start dealing with these younger upstarts. It gets easier the older you get, trust me."

Alex made a face. "Well if you two will excuse me, I have some work to get to." He stood and they all followed suit. "Feel free to look around, use the gyms, whatever you need. You can usually find Evan or myself on the bridge or wandering around somewhere."

"Thank you, I'm sure we'll be fine." Mari put a hand on Ian's arm and the Sha'erah turned to leave, leading the way through the lunch room crowd in the large galley.

Alex waited until they'd left, then pocketed the PDA again and walked out with Evan. "So this Edwards guy, you think he really could speed us up?"

"It makes sense. If I could find a way to increase our speed, he should be more than capable of improving on it." Evan shrugged. "Why does his age bother you?"

"I dunno. Maybe Mari's right, it's just realizing I'm getting older myself."

Evan stepped onto the lift they'd been waiting for and looked puzzled. "You're only a few years older than I am, that's not old."

Alex laughed. "I didn't say I was old, Evan. Just getting older. " He got inside the lift and hit the button for their living quarters level. "And you have to admit, that self-confident attitude is pretty hard to take from a guy who looks like he's all of twelve years old."

Evan huffed and shook his head but said nothing. Back in their quarters, Alex found the report Edwards had sent and settled in on the couch to read it through. He wasn't an engineer, but even the working knowledge he did have on the basic physics of engines was tested as he studied the proposed modifications. Several times Alex had to stop reading and ask Evan for clarifications, explanations, and his opinion on the changes. By the time he'd finished, they'd both come to the conclusion the proposal was sound. While Evan ordered their evening meal, Alex contacted his new engineering chief and gave his approval.

"Thank you, sir. I knew you'd see the value in my recommendations once you had time to digest the report."

"Good work, I'm impressed."

"Yes, sir!" Edwards signed off and the image of his smiling face faded from the small screen.

It was almost embarrassing to see how happy a simple compliment made the younger man. If Edwards had little hands-on experience, and was using this trip to gain the background he'd need in order to be taken seriously in the field, it looked as if he just might make Alex learn a thing or two about his own ship's engines. And the experience would serve to remind him just how important it was to a crew to be considered vital contributing members of the team. Alex knew how easy it was for a captain to forget that, and he'd been guilty of it himself on more than one occasion. Thinking of himself as an explorer made it all too easy to forget he was also the captain of a ship and a crew full of capable, intelligent people looking to him not just for employment, but leadership as well.

"Weren't you the same way when you first started out?"

"What? Arrogant and eager?" Alex leaned forward and pushed his empty dinner plate aside so he could rest his elbows on the table. He sighed. "I suppose. Not that I started out quite as young as this guy. I certainly wasn't publishing proposed routes through uncharted space when I was twelve." He grinned. "I was too busy plotting routes through uncharted co-ed territory."

Evan's only reply was a rolling of his eyes. He stood and began clearing the table. "The only thing Edwards lacks is time in space on a ship. Aside from that he was overqualified for the job."

"I'm not saying anything. You hired him. Obviously he's got the brains, now he just needs the experience." Alex sighed and rubbed his forehead. Apparently having Evan's own modifications judged sub-par didn't bother the Sha'erah one little bit. That was what irked Alex the most. To have something he was so proud of and pleased with tossed aside and changed on day one. And by a kid who didn't even look old enough to be on an expedition like this. He considered bringing up the subject with his partner, but changed his mind. In his mind he could already see how the conversation would go and who would win. Tonight he just didn't have the energy.

While Evan cleared the table, Alex poured himself a glass of scotch and walked out to the large shielded window. From there he could stand and watch the far distant stars twinkle against the black of space. Just one year ago, give or take a few days, it had been Sara sharing his quarters. Now she was back, married to Jackson, and seemed to think nothing of it.

Deep down inside, Alex knew he hadn't really loved her. And admittedly, life with Evan and Sara would have been pretty complicated. In fact, so far Alex hadn't met a Keeper who was married. Mari said she was a widow, and Ian had been her husband's property, so she must have been married to a Keeper at one point. That meant it was possible, but it didn't mean it wasn't complicated.

Alex sighed and swallowed some of the whiskey warming in his glass. The shot of heat coursing down his throat brought his attention back to the here and now, and put it on Evan's reflection in the large window. The Sha'erah was standing behind him looking pensive and frustrated about something, but he wasn't saying a word.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked the reflection instead of turning around.

"You're angry with me, aren't you?"

"What?" The absurdity of the question made Alex laugh shortly as he turned around to face Evan. "No, I'm not angry with you. Why would you think that?"

"You only drink whiskey when you're angry." Evan pointed to the glass in Alex's hand. "It's because I hired Feller-Jackson as our new physician, isn't it?"

Alex blinked.

"If you don't tell me what exactly you don't like, I won't know what it is I need to change."

"No, Evan, I'm not mad at you." Alex sighed heavily, then sat down on the heavily carpeted floor. He leaned back so he could use the window as a back rest and see his friend. "I'm disappointed in myself, and Sara, and something she said really pissed me off, but it was the truth. You can't be angry with the truth, can you?"

Evan stared at him, apparently not sure what to say or how to react.

"I was in love once, but not with her." Alex looked at the glass in his hand. "A long time ago, when I was still in school." He heard some shouting in his head and realized his brain was having an argument with itself as to the value of telling this story to the Sha'erah. He ignored the two voices and continued. "It was the real thing, too. We had our entire futures planned out, beginning to end. I had even told her who my father was, so we wouldn't have any secrets."

Evan shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then in a surprise move walked over to Alex and sat down on the carpeted floor beside him. "What happened?"

Alex turned to look at his friend and smiled slightly. "She died. Caught some virus - I never really figured out which one exactly - while she was visiting her family." He looked back at the glass and studied the ice as it slowly melted into the whiskey. His brain had stopped arguing with itself and just sat there, quietly pleased and comforted by the sight of Evan sitting beside him, offering up some form of support even if he wasn't consciously aware of what he was doing.

"Sara accused me of being in love with the idea of finding love again." He held up the glass in a silent toast to irony. "And, truth be told, I think she was right."

Evan fell silent beside him.

Alex sat there, staring into his glass, until he realized he hadn't been actually thinking of anything at all. Maybe what Sara said was the truth, but somehow that truth didn't hurt as much as he expected. Certainly not as much as it used to. He glanced at Evan.

"What the hell. Who needs love if you have friends, right?" He finished the scotch in one swallow and shook his head. "I think someone said that once."

"I think you did."

Alex laughed shortly and stood up. "Well, I must be smarter than I thought."

"Or wait a minute." Evan got off the floor. "I think maybe Zane said that."

Alex's laugh altered into a huff of irony. "Great."

"That doesn't mean it's not true." Evan took the empty glass from Alex's hand and carried it to the galley.

The look on his partner's face was meant to give the impression he had no idea his simple correction was a mildly delivered but friendly insult. But Alex knew better. Evan might like to think he had no real sense of humor, but whether he'd admit it or not, he most certainly did.

"On that note, I think I'm heading for bed." Alex ran a hand through his hair and silently vowed never to fall in love again. Of course, he'd promised himself that before, but he'd never had such a complicated friendship as owning a Sha'erah before to help him keep that promise. Whether it was him, Zane, or something he'd read on the side of a public transport vehicle, it was true. If you have friends, you don't need anything else.

"Good night." Evan walked to the door and routinely checked the security before shutting off the lights.

Swearing off love was fine for him. But what Alex hadn't considered - and wasn't entirely sure how to consider - was someone for Evan. The implications, and complications, were a little too much for tonight.

"Good night." After all, they had a good long voyage ahead. Plenty of time for Alex to get in over his head with an issue he had no idea how to handle.

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